The Outernet

This school year, I supervised my daughter's after-school writing group. I basically provided advice and loose writing prompts, and they did the rest. Usually, at the end of each session, a handful of them would read what they had written.

At our last session of the school year, one of the kids read something she wrote about the outernet. Though there is an actual thing called the Outernet (which also seems pretty cool) her story was about how a kid was on the internet and the power went out. So she decided to go outside, trying the outernet for a change.

I loved that idea!

Millions of small green USB cables connected to a vast porous computer!

Our kids are growing up so connected to screens; it's important to get them into the outernet every so often!

And you - yeah you - should occasionally take a walk in the outernet, too.

All hail our giant router!

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5 Ways to Get Everyone to Like You

People seem to like lists. They're very popular. So here's my list of five ways to get everyone to like you.

1 – Write the greatest rock-n-roll song ever. But don’t let it rock too hard. Maybe have a couple lines of rap in it, a little country twang here and there, and a strong chorus. Have some strings, preferably in the bridge – people often skimp on the bridge. First verse should be a bit melancholy, but by the end, it should lift people’s spirits.

2 – Save the world from that meteorite coming our way. Slip into your spacesuit, climb aboard that rocket, blast off and plant some bombs on that fucker. Blow it up, or at least knock it off its course. If an actor like Bruce Willis did it, so can you, since you’re a real live person.

3 – Invent the world’s best ice cream. Create a flavor that everyone loves. This can be tricky, but as long as you make alternative gluten-free and peanut-free versions, you should be good to go.

4 – Bring peace to the Middle East. I’m not even going to insult your intelligence by telling you how.

5 – Invent flying cars. Come on, don’t you think it’s about time? Roll up your sleeves and invent one already (along with the proper infrastructure to go along with it.) Easy-peasy, lemon squeezie.

Like this - but flying.

And there you have it. Five ways to get everyone to like you.

You’re welcome.