Museum of Historic Torture Devices

This summer my family went to the Wisconsin Dells. The Dells, in case you don't know, is full of water parks, go-cart tracks, water-ski shows, fudge shops and interesting museums - basically a bombardment of kitsch. But a fun kind-of kitsch.

One of the places I checked out (sans wife and kids) was the Museum of Historic Torture Devices (or the TORTURE MUSEUM, as the sign says out front).

It's not huge, but big enough, and the cost of admission is reasonable. They even have group rates, so if you want to take your local scout troop there...

Torture Merit Badge!

There are informative and illustrated placards above the items to show how they were used, most also accompanied by a Spanish translation. (Nobody expects the Spanish Translation!)

"Hey, Dave - I can smell my boogers."

The device below, called a Judas cradle, is used by lowering a suspended victim's butt onto the pyramid, using the weight of the body to inflict pain and damage. Probably not the kind of 'pyramid power' they'd hoped for.

As I strolled through the museum, a feeling of nausea crept over me. The museum is well done, very informative, and certainly worth going to, but around every corner was another reminder of the cruelty of our species.

Heretic's Fork - later replaced by the Heretic's Spork

Also, it's hard to ignore the number of devices intended chiefly for women - like the various 'scold's bridles' pictured below. The bridle wasn't a punishment for murder or adultery or burglary; it was used for over-talkative women. Too bossy? Gossiping too much? Here, put this over your head, dear...

Below is a brindle. Another device to punish women. The head went in the large hole and a hand went through each of the smaller holes. You realize as you walk through the museum just what a load of dehumanizing shit women have had to put up with over the centuries.

There were a lot of other items on display. A torture rack, a cucking chair, various nasty looking whips, iron gags, crucifixion nails, an electric chair, thumbscrews, reruns of the Teletubbies...

There's also a display on John Wayne Gacy. Below is one of his paintings.  

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to the crawl space I go...

Like I said, humans can be a cruel species. I'm just glad this torture stuff is all in the distant past.

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Rutabagas and the Drive Home

Wednesday night I was an attending author at the Killer Cocktails party put on for the librarians attending the Minnesota Library Associations annual conference, held in Duluth this year. More on that later! Anyway, I drove home from Duluth yesterday afternoon and got off I35 to drive Hwy 23 for part of the trip home (the Veterans Evergreen Memorial Scenic Byway). I love the back roads, because you see stuff that the Interstate doesn’t offer.
 
For example, I spotted these at a rest stop in Bruno, MN (birthplace of Ralph Plaisted, “First Explorer to Officially Reach the North Pole by Snow Mobile in April, 1968” as a sign proclaims) – you don’t see these much anymore!

Anyway, the highlight of this drive for me was the town of Askov, pop. 364 – once known as the Rutabaga capital of the world. I’d never heard of the place before, but it was such a fun and quirky little town. All the streets that I saw had Danish names, and there are Danish flags all over the place. But the thing that I especially loved about Askov is this little shop called Lena’s Scandinavian Gifts and Coffee House (home of the Rutabaga malt! And no, I didn’t try it, although maybe next time...) I entered mainly because I needed some coffee, but ended up talking to a guy who worked there for about 20 minutes or so because it was such a unique shop. First, it was filled with all things Danish – except for all of the things rutabaga-related; rutabaga jam, rutabaga shirts, rutabaga...well, other rutabaga things. Second, the shop is in a building built in 1905, and the walls and ceiling are all covered in beautifully textured and colored tin . The tin walls were part of the original building, and the guy I talked to said that they took off about five layers of paint a few years back to get to the original finish.
 
A shop like this is such a fun find for me, since nowadays nearly all tourist shops have the same basic crap in them; t-shirts, shot glasses, postcards, hats, all with the name of whatever state or town you’re in. All very cookie-cutter.
 
But Lena’s was different. Original. By reflecting the spirit, uniqueness and flavor of the town (instead of just trying to cash in on its name) it added to the spirit, uniqueness and flavor of the town. Askov wouldn’t be nearly as fun without Lena’s, and Lena’s wouldn’t be the same without being surrounded by Askov’s ambiance and history.
 
So stop by Lena’s if you’re on your way up to the Lake Superior region.  I highly recommend it. Their krumkake is tasty, and their caramel lattes are delicious. But as for the rutabaga malts – proceed at your own risk!

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