Showing posts with label A to Z Challenge 2014. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A to Z Challenge 2014. Show all posts

Thursday, April 24, 2014

U is for the giant U in Salt Lake City

For today's A to Z Blogging Challenge, the letter is U. Instead of using a U word, I'm using the giant block letter U that adorns Mount Van Cott in Salt Lake City, Utah. Technically that particular U does stand for something - the University of Utah. But I'm not going to talk about the actual university. Just the big ol' U itself.

I went to Salt Lake City for a week in high school as part of our AFS club's exchange, where us (we?) kids from Rochester went to a high school in SLC for a week, and later, some of those students spent a week at our high school. It was a fun. I stayed at the large house of a Mormon family. I had two other students from Minnesota staying in the same house, and they were nice guys to hang out with. One of the older kids of the host family was away on his two-year mission, and his little brother who was maybe three or four years old asked me if I had come to replace him (since I was staying in the older brother's room.) Pretty sure I told him no.

One night, we were out and about with one of the Salt Lake City kids driving us around, and we went up and parked near the giant U. It was a short hike to it, and we sat on it, and had a couple beers. The view was amazing, with Salt Lake City spread out below us, lit up for the night.


Another place we hung out at in SLC was this coffee shop called The Painted Word. Lots of neat artwork hanging on the walls. I wonder that place still exists.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by!

T is for Telephone

For the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I'm cheating a little today for the letter T and presenting to you my very shot story Telephone. It originally appeared in Dark Recesses Magazine and can also be found in my collection Fetal Position & Other Stories.


Telephone
By Joel Arnold

Jill Johnson inserted herself into the oval of six and seven-year olds standing at the front of her class.  “You know how Telephone is played, don’t you?” she asked.  She was met by nods of affirmation and a few dumbfounded stares.  “I whisper something into someone’s ear, and that person whispers it into the next person’s ear, and so on until it gets to the end.  Then we’ll see how much the words have changed.  Okay?”

She leaned over and whispered into Benjamin Cale’s ruddy, wax-rich ear, “I like plums and apples.”

Benjamin knit his brows, then leaned over to Lydia Rathberger, cupping his hands over her strawberry blond hair.  It went like that from person to person, around the entire class, until Bobby Blaisdell whispered into Gail Dupree’s ear, and Gail, directly to Mrs. Johnson’s left, nodded.  Mrs. Johnson smiled at Gail, “Tell the class what you heard.”

Gail Dupree smiled back and said, “’They know you did it.’”

Johnson squinted at Gail.  They know you did it?  How did ‘I like plums and apples’ mutate into ‘They know you did it’?  But that was the fun of the game, wasn’t it?  So Mrs. Johnson told the class the original phrase, the ‘I like plums and apples’ phrase, and the kids laughed, and begged her to do it again.

Mrs. Johnson leaned over to Benjamin again, this time whispering a simpler, rhyming phrase, one not so easy to confuse.  “Candy is dandy,” she whispered.

Benjamin nodded and whispered to Lydia, who in turn whispered to Craig Masters, and so on and so on, until once again, Gail Dupree nodded as Bobby whispered into her ear.  She smiled.  Mrs. Johnson said, “And what was it you heard, Ms. Dupree?”

And Gail said, “They found her where you drowned her.”

Mrs. Johnson stared at Gail.  “Is that what you heard?” she asked.  Gail nodded.

Mrs. Johnson looked at Bobby.  “Is that what you heard?”  Bobby nodded. 

Johnson scanned her students.  She no longer smiled.  “What I said was ‘Candy is dandy.’”

“It still rhymed,” noted Gail.

Mrs. Johnson said, “We’ll do this once more, but we’ll go the other way around this time.” She bent down to Gail, and whispered, “I loved her.”

Gail looked at her as if she hadn’t heard correctly, but Mrs. Johnson nodded, and so Gail stood on tiptoe to whisper into Bobby’s ear, and he shrugged and passed the message along.  When it got back to Benjamin Cale, Mrs. Johnson hesitated a moment before asking him, “Okay, Benji – what did you hear?”

Benjamin Cale smirked.  “’They’re coming to arrest you.’  That’s what I heard.”

Mrs. Johnson blinked slowly.  She heard a sound rising in the distance, a sound outside of the classroom, outside of the school building, a sound racing up the streets, getting closer and closer; the sound of sirens.  “Is that what you heard, Benji,” she asked, the words causing her tongue to feel heavy and thick against the roof of her mouth.

Benjamin nodded.

“Well,” Mrs. Johnson said.  “Okay.”  Her eyes followed the three police cars as they slowed outside the building.  Officers emerged.  She dropped her hands to her sides, and plopped down into one of the small student desks as the rest of the students ran to the windows to see what the commotion was about.  Her fingers briefly felt once more the memory of soft flesh going from warm to cold as she held it beneath the swift flowing Zumbro River.

Gail Dupree turned from the window and asked, “Mrs. Johnson?  Can we play again?”



Available for the Kindle, Nook, iReader, and other devices.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

S is for Staying the Hell Outta Georgia

A to Z Blogger Challenge - Letter 'S'

I wasn’t sure what exactly I’d write about for the letter S until today, when I saw that Georgia has passed a bill – The Safe CarryProtection Act – that allows guns to be carried pretty much everywhere – in bars, schools, churches, government buildings, etc. I guess my ‘S’ could stand for Safe Carry Protection Act, or Second Amendment, but I’m opting for Staying the Hell Outta Georgia.

Look, I’d love to visit Georgia someday. It sounds like a beautiful state. Savannah, Atlanta, Athens, the Blue Ridge Mountains... Coca Cola...peaches? And I’m sure the people there are wonderful, friendly people. But as long as they have such a dumb-ass law that could potentially put my family in danger, I ain’t setting foot in that state. (Georgia is obviously already okay with shooting itself in the foot.)

Say I see someone coming at me carrying a gun. How do I know they’re carrying it legally? How do I know whether or not to fear them? What if I trust that they’re legally carrying ‘cause they look nice, but they’re not. Or what if I assume they’re illegally carrying and I panic and bad stuff happens?

Say a legally carrying person is walking around and sees another legally carrying person, but one thinks the other looks suspicious...or a police officer thinks one of them looks suspicious. Guns are drawn, guns are fired...etc.

Alcohol and guns do not mix. Drunk college students and guns do not mix.

I know, I know – a lot of hypotheticals...

Say I’m in church (ok, stop laughing) and someone sits in my pew and I see the butt of a gun sticking out of their pants. I’ll be constantly wondering if they’re not somebody who’s going to go all bath-shit crazy all of a sudden. Maybe it’s some KKK dude just waiting for the right moment to open fire. Maybe it’s some unstable person who believes God has called them to heaven and wants to bring along as many brethren as possible.

I would hope people wouldn’t be so dumb as to go trick-or-treating in Georgia, or Christmas caroling, or selling Girl Scout cookies, ‘cause look out – some idiot with a gun might think you’re up to no good and take a shot at you.

Better not accidentally cut someone off in traffic in Georgia, either, because road rage can be bad enough, but throw a gun into the mix...

And kids in Georgia – I’m sure your parents are all very responsible gun owners. So no worries there...


I realize the good folks of Georgia (and I mean that sincerely – like I said, I know there are a lot of great people living there) don’t give a flying monkey’s butt as to whether or not I bring my family and our money to their state. All I’m saying is you can take your Second Amendment to whatever extreme you want, but at the same time, I’m going to keep my unalienable rights to ‘Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness’...and I’m worried that my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness would be placed in much greater jeopardy once I cross your state line.


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

R is for Rubescent

For the letter R in the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I'm going with rubescent, which is another word I just learned. I was going to go with the word red, but I came across rubescent, and it means the same thing I was going to talk about, anyway, but is both more fancy and schmancy.

Rubescent means 'growing red/blushing'. That described me as a kid. Well, it still describes me, I suppose, but when I was a kid, it bugged the hell out of me. I'd turn red at the drop of a hat. Not that we wore a lot of hats, but...

And kids got to where they'd say, "Turn red, Joel" and I would. On command. Or they'd say, "Joel's blushing," and then the blushing would grow more intense. Intense rubescence, I s'pose. Some kids thought it was fun to press the skin of my cheek when I was rubescent, and marvel at the white spot that would appear and sustain itself for a while before blending back into the general redness.

Don't get me wrong. I never felt like I was being bullied. The kids who did this weren't being mean, necessarily. Just...well, just annoying, I guess. But it did have an effect on me. I was very self-conscious of my blushing, and tried to avoid any attention whatsoever for a long, long time. That shaped who I was - who I am - to a point. I'm not nearly as self-conscious as I was, but perhaps that was one of the appeals of becoming a writer.

So anyway...rubescent.
And for your enjoyment, the Beatles' "Yes It Is" which talks about the color red, and it was going through my head while writing this blog entry:


Monday, April 21, 2014

Q is for Quilt

Today I'm tackling the letter Q for the A to Z Blogging Challenge, 2014. And for Q I'm going with Quilt. Specifically the quilt my wife, Melissa, made for me a couple years back.

About twice a year she goes on a scrap-booking retreat with friends and aunts and cousins. Usually she works on scrap-booking, but in 2011 she took it upon herself to surprise me by making a quilt at one of these shindigs. Since she knows I'm a Yellowstone fanatic, she found some quilt squares of old Yellowstone postcards and used those for the quilt.

Here's what it looks like:


Instead of making the backing with typical quilt material, she used an extra soft material. It's the perfect snuggling quilt.

Here's some of the detail:




This was the first quilt she'd ever made, and I couldn't have asked for anything better.




I may be biased, but I would have to say BEST QUILT EVER!

Thanks for stopping by!

P is for Party at Anne Rice's House!

For today's A to Z Blogging Challenge, the letter is P. So I'd like to tell you about a Party I went to in 1991 in New Orleans when I was 3 days away from my 23rd birthday. The party was part of the New Orleans Writers' Conference, and was hosted by Anne Rice at her amazing mansion. It was a black tie affair, so I rented a tux for the evening.

Page 1 of the party's program
One of the cool things about this was that it was shortly after the release of her novel The Witching Hour, which I had read a few months earlier. I enjoyed the novel quite a bit. Anne Rice based the mansion's setting in the novel on her own home, plus in the novel, there were a number of black tie parties (if I remember correctly) so while at the party, it sort of felt like you were part of the novel.

Page 2 of the program
Another neat thing was that Anne had opened her house up completely. You were basically free to roam through her (and husband Stan's) house. It was fun to look through her collection of VCR tapes and check out her writing office. Also, there were Stan's paintings hanging all about, and they were really cool - very vibrant colors, with a very New Orleans' feel.

Page 3 of the program, listing all the caterers and others.
So aside from the main house, there was also an expansive yard, complete with pool and guest house. To give you an idea of how big the whole place was, all those caterers listed above were scattered throughout her yard, serving up free food and drinks. Also, near the pool was a band (The Snapbeans!) while at the same time a piano player played in her house, and a sax player played on one of her balconies.

The food was amazing. I was served turtle soup by Paul Prudhomme. I also had baked Alaska for the first time, and other delicious items. Jimmy Buffet and his daughter were at the party. So were Wendy Wasserstein and Roy Blount, Jr.

As I was leaving to catch the bus back to the conference hotel, Anne and Stan were there to wish us farewell, and as I thanked her for the wonderful evening, she shook my hand and said, "Be careful." I guess I'd had more to drink than I'd thought.

Back of the program
It was a fantastic, memorable evening.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

O is for Old Faithful Geyser

For the letter O on the A to Z Blogger Challenge, I'm picking the Old Faithful Geyser.

Here's a photo I took of it from the roof of the Old Faithful Inn:


Since I worked out there for a number of years, I saw it erupt many times. You almost get immune to it. Almost. But it still was always impressive.

The pic above was taken in May, when there are still not many tourists in Yellowstone. At the peak of the season, in June, July and August, that boardwalk is packed. For two of my seasons out there, I worked in the building visible in the background of the picture. While people waited for the geyser to blow, it would be slow inside the building, but after it erupted, there would be the inevitable "geyser rush" and we'd be swamped.

If you want to see the geyser live via webcam, go here.

There are bigger, more impressive geysers out there, but you often have to walk a bit farther, or wait longer - sometimes a LOT longer. Despite the geyser's name, it's not totally faithful. Lots of the tourists assumed it went off every hour on the hour, or something like that, which ain't the case. (Tourists have a lot of strange misconceptions about many things in the park. Some of them provide fun fodder for the employees.) If you do get out that way to see it, it's cool to go out and watch for it to erupt after dark. You hear it more than see it, and what you do see is this ghostly mist rising silver against the stars. Very cool!



N is for Native American Scenic Byway

This entry is for the letter N - part of the A to Z Blogger Challenge. For N, I chose the Native American Scenic Byway, which I traveled with my family for a magazine assignment from American Road Magazine.


It was a great trip, one of my favorites. Lots of beautiful scenery and interesting places. We got to visit a popcorn factory on the Lower Brule Sioux Reservation, step into an authentic Arikara earth lodge, go on a jeep ride through an elk herd (we did it slowly and quietly - not like we were ram-rodding through them or anything like that!) and visit lots of museums and meet a lot of great people. The byway goes through four different Lakota reservations. Most of the byway is in South Dakota, and part of it continues on into North Dakota. I highly recommend this trip to anyone. 

On one part of the trip, as we were driving over beautiful rolling hills, we almost ran out of gas. We saw on a map that there was a town coming up, so thought it would be no problem to fill up there. However, when we arrived, the gas station was just a husk of a station - it had been closed down for some time. We started thinking that we might have to hoof it a ways, or stand on the side of the road to flag down passing motorists. Luckily, we saw some folks out on a ranch, and we pulled in there, barely on fumes. They happened to be branding cattle. Normally, they'd only have diesel fuel on the premises, but they needed regular gas to power their branding equipment and had an extra gallon to spare. It was enough to get to the next town. Whew!

Here's a page from the article I wrote. The photo is one my wife actually took from inside the earth lodge - she just happened to catch the hawk flying over it:

A great trip, and I hope you get a chance to go!

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

M is for Metis Sash

For the A to Z Blogger Challenge, the letter M is brought to you by the Métis sash. It was an integral part of Métis life on the Red River trails back in the mid 1800s. Originally called a L'Assumption sash (named for the town in Quebec in which it was first created) it;s made of wool and typically 3 meters long (about 10 feet) and as you can see in the picture below, quite beautiful. I learned about these while doing research for my YA historical novel Ox Cart Angel.

Métis sash - my folks bought this for me in Winnipeg 

It looks simple, like a long scarf, yet it had many uses. Here are ten of them.

1 - Belt. It was often worn around the waist to hold a Métis coat - known as a capote - closed. A capote, by the way, was usually made from a Hudson Bay blanket.


A capote coat. See the sash in the middle?

2 - Oven mitt. Of course, there weren't necessarily ovens on the ox cart trails, but if they needed to pull a hot pan or pot of coffee off of the fire, they could use their sash like we use an oven mitt today.

3 - Sewing repair. See the threads dangling on the end of the sash in the picture below? They were more than mere decoration. If a thread was needed for mending something, one of them could be pulled off and used for stitching.



4 - Key, knife, fire-kit holder. Those threads could also be used to attach items like keys. When wrapped around the waist, it often also held a knife on one side and a bag with fire-starting equipment on the other side.

5 - Buffalo marker. While on a buffalo hunt, the Métis sash could be used to mark a buffalo. Each sash had its unique qualities, and a Métis hunter could identify his from other sashes. If he killed a buffalo, he could place his sash on it, so that other hunters would know it was his.

6 - A tumpline. Tumplines were used by voyageurs and the Métis to carry heavy loads over portages or uneven terrain. They would place the middle of the sash over the top of their head and use the two free ends to tie a pack to their back.

7 - Bridle or saddle blanket. 

8 - Tourniquet. In a life-threatening emergency where heavy bleeding was involved, a Métis sash could be used as a tourniquet. It would be tied above an injury to stop or slow the flow of blood, turned tight by a stick or other baton-shaped object.

9 - A rope. 

10 - A scarf. A Métis sash does make a nice scarf!

Here's a closeup of the Métis sash so that you can see the detail:


The colors have meaning. The red and white represent the mixing of the American Indian and European nations. The blue represents sky and water. Green represents fertility and growth. Yellows represents the sun.


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

L is for Lethonomia

For the A to Z Challenge's letter L, I'm going with lethonomia, which I will admit I had never heard of until a few minutes ago. But it is something I certainly suffer from. Lethonomia is the tendency to forget names. I am embarrassingly bad at remembering names. There have been so many times when I'm introduced to someone, and then like that, poof - it's gone...

I know there are tricks to remembering names, like how you keep saying their name when you talk to them. But maybe it's because as a writer, when writing dialog, that comes across as so phony, so I mentally block myself from doing it.

Example:
"Jim, how is the meth lab coming today?" Bob asked.
"Why would I tell you, Bob?" Jim countered.
"Because I'm holding your hamster, Henry, hostage, Jim," Bob counter-countered.
"Henry? My hamster? Hostage? You bastard, Bob!" Jim jammered.
"When you're done spilling your guts about the meth lab, Jim, then maybe I can help you with your alliteration problem," Bob offered.
"Brilliant, Bob - you're the best!" Jim alliterated. "Bob?"
"Jim?"
"Bob."
"Jim."
"Bob!"
etc....

So what was I talking about? Oh yeah - lethonomia. I need to make more of an effort to remember people's names.

K is for Kingdom of the Spiders

For the letter K, I'm going with a movie that I've seen only once when I was a kid (maybe 10? 11?) but it left an impression on me, and I'd love to see it again if I can find it. It's the made for TV movie Kingdom of the Spiders, starring William Shatner.
I saw it on a lazy day in my youth - caught it on TV - and could not stop watching it. It's about a town overrun by tarantulas (and for a long time, while trying to track this movie down, I assumed it was called Tarantula). It was first broadcast in November of 1977, but I'm guessing I saw a rerun - I feel like I saw it on a Saturday afternoon..


I'm guessing that if I see the movie today all these years later, I'll find it on the cheesy side - well okay, the really cheesy, sharpest damn cheddar you can find - but sometimes cheesy is good.
"Spock - you've got something on your back."
It's even got the typical crazy-old-coot character.

"I'm givin' all she's got, Jim!"
I clearly remember the ending, too, which I won't give away, but at the time, it sent goosebumps down my spine.
"Set flashlights on stun!"
So c'mon Netflix - get on it!

Friday, April 11, 2014

J is for Junk Drawer

It's J-day in the 2014 A to Z Blogging Challenge.

Seems like everybody has a junk drawer; a place to put the detritus of life that accumulates over time and doesn't necessarily go with anything else. So it ends up in a drawer. Here's our junk drawer:

It's in our kitchen, and among other things, it contains an extra door-stopper, some felt pads, slides, tape, various nails and screws, pencils, a cigar-cutter, a paint swatch, lanyard, etc, etc. Every so often, we might look through it and try to organize it, but it's so far down on our priority list that we're lucky if we get to it once a year.

A writer's mind can often be like a junk drawer. It's full of bits of plot, characters, scenes that you haven't found a home for yet and don't really fit anywhere else. So they're stored in the junk drawer of your mind, waiting for a chance to be put to use. But this junk drawer is helpful. It's necessary. Every once in a while, when you're looking for just the right word or scenario or memory to cull, there it is, waiting for you in that mental junk drawer, looking for a good home.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

I is for Incubation

Today's letter for April's A to Z Challenge is I. And for I, I'd like to talk about Incubation.


Okay, not that kind of incubation. I'm talking about creative incubation. 


Um, well - that's not what I meant, either.

For writers, sometimes we have to allow our ideas time to incubate. You might have a great idea for a story, but as you plot it out or write it, you get stuck. You realize that point A doesn't transition into point B. Or maybe point C doesn't jive with point D. 

What's your point?
So what many of us do, instead of just throwing the whole idea out the window, is we let the story sit in our mind - we let it incubate in our subconscious. Maybe we sleep on it for a day or two. Maybe a month or more. The great thing is that many times when we're not expecting it, the solution to the problem pops into our head. The problem has boiled around in our grey matter, played ping-pong with our neurons, and suddenly, with a dash of cerebellum and a soupcon of parietal lobe, our problem is solved.

For me, that's one of the funnest things about the writing process; how problems often resolve themselves if we just give them enough time and let them incubate.

Like this, but with less chicken.
Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

H is for Honesty

Today's letter in the A to Z Challenge is H.

One of the best pieces of advice I can give any writer out there no matter what they write, is that the most important quality they can put into their writing is honesty. Honesty is what makes your writing yours. It makes it personal. I think when people say that writers need to find their voice, they are basically saying that writers need to peel away all the bullshit in their writing, and let their truth out onto the page.

Here's an example. Say you have a character in a mystery story. Say it's your main character, your private eye or detective or whatever. There are preconceived notions as to what a detective might be. Maybe a hard-boiled gumshoe like Raymond Chandler's Philip Marlowe or a sweet, yet clever elderly sleuth like Agatha Christie's Jane Marple. These are great characters. I love them! But they're not your characters, and I believe you'd be doing yourself a disservice to imitate them.

Still, say you want a hard-boiled gumshoe. That's fine. But use your own truths, your own hard-fought wisdoms to infuse into your character. Think about your own experiences, your own way of seeing the world. Maybe it's quite different than how Raymond Chandler sees the world. Even if it's not, there's still a lot of you that you can draw out and put into your character that makes him or her unique.

Don't be timid in your writing. That's another part of being honest. You can have timid characters, sure, but don't be timid with their truths.

I think this is also another way of saying 'write what you know.'

Hemingway once said, "It is easy to write. Just sit in front of your typewriter and bleed."

It's difficult to pull those emotional truths from our souls. It's difficult to be vulnerable on the page.

But that's what will make your writing memorable. That's what will make your writing unique. And that's what will make readers want to come back for more.


Tuesday, April 8, 2014

G is for German Exchange Student

Now for our next installment of the A to Z Challenge!

Our letter for the day is G, so I'm going to tell you a little about Alexandra (Alex) Lang, our German exchange student. She stayed with my family when I was in the 9th grade - this would've been in 1983/84. She was from Kerpen, Germany (still West Germany at the time) - a city near Cologne. 

Alex was 16 when she arrived - a year older than me - and she attended tenth grade at John Marshall High School. I was still in Jr. High. My friends and I had crushes on her, as adolescent boys are wont to do, but in the end, it was like she was a sister to me. She was very independent and made some good friends in high school. There were times when we couldn't stand each other, and other times when we had good long talks. We played a lot of ping-pong together. She spoke English very well (and also French) and when she'd talk in German to some of the other exchange students from Germany or Austria, I liked listening to the lilt of her accent.

She liked to play tricks on some of her teachers. She liked to make her health teacher blush by asking lots of pointed questions during sex ed, feigning ignorance of the language. For example, she'd ask, "What is this word, 'masturbate'?"

Anyway, we kept in touch for a few years after she headed back to Germany, but eventually we lost touch. It would be good to visit her after all these years, or at least exchange letters. I wonder what she's been up to.

Because of her, I joined AFS (American Field Service) in high school and met a lot of great people, as well as went on week-long high-school exchanges with other U.S. cities; 10th grade I went to Tempe, Arizona, and 11th grade Salt Lake City, Utah. I learned that the best way to get to know a place is to stay with the locals.

Here's to ya, Alex! I hope the world has been treating you well.



Monday, April 7, 2014

F is for Fetal Bait Apocalypse

A to Z Blogging Challenge  - F is the letter of the day. The letter of the day is F. Not E. Not G. But F.

F is for Fetal Bait Apocalypse; 3 Collections in 1.

It contains over 100,000 words of horror, sci-fi, and suspense. Wanna hear some of the stories for free? (Free also starts with F!)

You can on Pseudopod - just click on whichever story you'd like to hear, and it will take you to their site:


They're horror stories, so may be a bit gruesome (especially Fetal Position).

If you enjoyed them and would like to get the entire omnibus in ebook format, you can! And it's only $3.99, which is a steal. Just scroll on down beyond the cover image and click on whichever ebook store you prefer.


Available on AmazonBarnes & NobleKoboiTunes, and Smashwords.

Here are some customer reviews:

5.0 out of 5 stars You just can't put it down. March 12, 2014
By Kas
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book is three collections in one, so it's extremely long, which means you're getting a lot for your money. It's one of my favorites, and I reread it often.

5.0 out of 5 stars Loved this collection November 16, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book is actually three collections in one, so you're getting a lot of story for your money here. This is some of the most creative horror I've read in years. The writing is superb; descriptive and engaging. All in all Fetal Bait Apocalypse is a thoroughly entertaining, creepy, and frightening experience. If you enjoy supernatural horror in the short story form then I don't think you can go wrong with this book.

4.0 out of 5 stars Quality tales with a twist October 15, 2010
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I'm a fan of old time horror radio and shows like the Twilight Zone. So the descriptions of this book piqued my interest. I'm happy to report that this book did not dissapoint! The tales are creepy, well written, and lots of fun. Thanks Joel for quality contributions to the genre.

 Yipee

Came across this author in a short story collection I think and then read this book. Outstanding. Was disappointed to finish and had to look for more.
Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, iTunes, and Smashwords.

Thanks again for stopping by!

Saturday, April 5, 2014

E is for Erections Lasting Longer Than 4 Hours

Okay, bear with me on this one.

I have a theory about those advertisements for Viagra, Cialas and Levitra. You know how they say that it's important to call a doctor if an erection lasts for more than four hours? I think that this is less of a medical warning and more of a sly marketing gimmick. I'm guessing when some guys hear this, they don't at first think, 'Oh no! I can't have a long-lasting erection. I have places to go!' It's probably more like, 'Wow! Does that mean I can have a super boner? Sign me up!'
Seriously, dude - it was like THIS...for 4 hours. Fist bump!

Here's a fun fact of the day. Did you know that Viagra has been shown to help hamsters recover from jet lag?
I just flew in from Albuquerque, and boy are my arms so NOT tired!
It can also make flowers stand up straight for an extra week if you dissolve it in water.
Doctor! Help me!!
Okay, that was TWO fun facts!

Thanks for stopping by.